No-one really ever wants to hear this but you’ve got to put the work in.
There, I’ve said it. Now that’s out of the way, let’s look at why.
If you’ve decided to find a coach, you’ve decided you want a bit of help with the thing that’s bothering you, the thing that you want to change.
You might be thinking:
- There’s got to be more to life than this
- I don’t want to be tired all the time
- I feel lost in this relationship
- Why do I get so stressed at work, I don’t want feel this way
- I’m really passionate about this thing but I’ve no idea how to do it
You’ve done your bit and researched a bunch of people who are offering to help. You whittled down your list, did some intro calls and have found the coach for you. Over to them now, right?
Kind of!
But actually, over to both of you.
A coach should be accountable – you are paying them for their time and expertise after all. But they do not have the power to bring about change on your behalf. You are also accountable to yourself.
To get the most from coaching:
- Prepare for each session
Give yourself 15 – 30 minutes ahead of your session to reflect on what you need. This could be a few days before or right before the session itself. It doesn’t really matter when you do it, just make sure you give yourself the time. Why? Because then you don’t spend the first bit of your session (when you’re paying for your coaches time) trying to figure this bit out.
- Don’t “run” in or out of your session
Consider when coaching happens in your day / week / month. Are you a morning person, prefer the early afternoon slot or only really do your best work later in the day? What is happening immediately before and after your session – running from one thing to another can make it difficult for the work you’re doing to really land or become integrated
- Take time after the session to reflect
If you haven’t already done so within the coaching session, take a few moments to take stock of where you are and make any notes. How are you feeling? What do you need to go back to your day? Is a ritual helpful to transition out of coaching back into the rest of life (I’m thinking passing by a favourite cafe, a walk, listening to a particular piece of music for example).
- Do what you’ve said you’ll do
Possibly the most significant tip. You’ve spent a whole session working hard, exploring stuff and things. You’ve figured out what you need and want to do between now and when you next see your coach. So do it. You have to make the time, no-one else is going to do it for you. A coachee once told me that knowing she had to come back and tell me what she’d done was one of the most powerful things about the process. She held herself accountable.
- Tell your coach how to get the best from you
This is a relationship so communication is key. Part of coaching usually involves your coach offering constructive challenge -so if you know they best way for you to receive this, tell us. I prefer to be challenged by someone telling me when they notice a discrepancy between what I’m saying and doing (or even my body language) and when this is offered as an observation (the “I’ve noticed something, can I share it with you” type of comment). It’s less likely to raise my defences and it is my decision what to do with someone’s observation.